Book review: Never split the difference

Introduction

Never split the difference. The negotiating bible written by Chris Voss and his co-writer Tahl Raz takes you to the underlying dungeons of every interaction, conversation and negotiation. Chris Voss is a former FBI hostage negotiator and the founder of the Black Swan Group. Throughout his life, he has also been imparting his negotiating knowledge and experiences to MBA students in universities like Harvard. He is a recognized master in tense negotiating situations when there is life at stake. The book is composed of his theories that teach us the hidden aspects of nearly every interaction we have in our day-to-day life.

The review

“Negotiating is nothing more than communicating with results.”, Voss says. Never split the difference is an outcome of the 24 years of FBI career. The author puts the spotlight on how we come across the negotiations in routine and how to ace it. It is a perspective widening book which teaches us the word “No” that we usually fear is the word that actually starts the negotiation. In-depth research of Voss combined with his real-life incidents unlocks some very interesting sides of human psychology. The book teaches what it actually takes to penetrate your counterpart’s mind, understand what’s beneath and negotiate your way out to bring the best outcome.

We mistake our counterpart to be the enemy but its the unresolved conflict which truly is. It would be nice if at least one party on the table knew how to conduct the negotiation and bring out the results to the best of interests. Remember its not about how to get your own way. Its about bringing what’s best for everyone (And sometimes getting your way😉). Author suggests using your deep and calm voice to gain the trust of the opposite person during a tense situation. The voice which he calls ‘Late night FM DJ voice’. Such phenomenal terms used throughout the book makes it a lot more interesting than it seems. I felt like a two-way conversation between me and Chris while reading the book. Thanks to him I will listen my counterpart more before I speak, I will try to listen between the lines and I will always be open to the possibility of the “unknown unknowns”.

“Don’t think about when the last flight leaves or what it would be like to go home early and play golf. Do not let your mind wander. Remain focused.”

 -Chris Voss