Parenting.

 

 

Today my thoughts lean towards writing something about parenting. It is not something that you need to master for nurturing your children’s lifestyle. It is a simple way of treating your kids as per their changing behavior. 

From sleepless nights to seeing your kids stand on their feet, the parenting will guide their way through. I have seen many parents around me fail. Maybe, it is just because they have failed at adulting which means the way they have carried themselves during their adulthood. The perspective carried during those days also ends up affecting their parenting. The way they used to perceive things would lead them to tell their kids to grasp those things similarly.

When a baby is born, the parents dream of their child’s bright future but they sometimes forget the journey on which they have to take their kid to become “successful”. For this journey to begin, you have to give your children the best start possible and provide the best interface with the world. 

 

In the early years, the atmosphere is lovely, you are happy, thinking, “yes this is our kid, our bundle of happiness”. Gradually, they start developing their sense of self as babies when they see themselves through their parents’ eyes. Your tone of voice, your body language, and your every expression are absorbed by your kids. Your words and actions as a parent affect their developing self-esteem more than anything else but when the years pass on, they start having their way of perceiving things. This is when they will need your guidance to appraise those things. In short, with each new developmental stage, your kid needs another you.

Then comes an age where a child starts mingling with other kids of their age and see the different styles of parenting. Developmental milestones are things most children can achieve by this age. Your kids start looking at different types of people and with all the curiousness start interpreting how does the world work. Certainly, your little ones will become demanding of things at this age. Establishing house rules helps kids understand your expectations and develop self-control.

There would be times when you would have to be gentle with your kids; not suppressing them whenever they try to keep a demand. Be it going out or wanting something. You’ll need to sit them down and explain what the word “compromise” means. You’ll surely come across such circumstances which will simply be facts and must be dealt with as they exist. Such circumstances define parenting in your child’s mind and it will prepare your children for life as productive adults. Remember this is a time where you need to transmit cultural values as well in them. You have to manage your children’s behavior when they are young so that they don’t have a hard time learning how to manage themselves when older or when you aren’t around.

Sometimes, your child may make mistakes but you have to be forgiving. Choose your words carefully and be compassionate. Let your kids know that everyone makes mistakes and that you still love them. You have to be easy going with your kids and guide them to what is right. Even if your children choose the wrong, have patience and let them realize that what they chose was not meant to be chosen. Once they’re at this age, you need to let them make their own choices and not intervene. Provide your children with all the necessary things, pamper them, help set their own achievable goals. This will teach them to take pride in themselves and rely less on approval or reward from others. Talk with your kids about respecting others. Encourage them to help people in need. Praise them by recognizing their accomplishments.

Then comes the age what we call teenage. Here, things will start losing control. Your child will have bad companies and good companies but your parenting comes into the role here that helps your teen choose. Meet and get to know your teen’s friends. This time is your children’s most crucial time when they come to know many realities about worldliness and where they stand in it. So, set them free to fly and explore what they are meant for and what is their destiny. Help your teens to make healthy choices while encouraging them to make their own decisions. Subconsciously, children treat others the way their parents treat them. Your relationship with your children is the foundation for their relationships with others. Respect their opinions and take into account their thoughts and feelings because they must know it is important that they know you are listening to them. Let your kids drown in the facts and face the reality so that they have no regrets of missing out on something.

And then, there will be a time when your children may need to depart from you for further development. There your kid is, standing at the gate carrying all the love, skills, nourishment you have been giving since the very first day of their life. As soon as your kid bids a farewell with a smile on the face, you burst into tears and hug them; knowing that you will not be able to do that in months, they relax you and say “I am just a phone call away and I will make you proud one day…”, and depart. That’s when you’ll know that you’ve aced parenting.